Well, I think the camping trip turned out quite alright. Nothing too exciting, but I think everyone had at least a little bit of fun. It was so great to just hang with my friends in the homegroup, and not have much to do but talk with each other and be with one another. I was excited to learn a bit on the guit-fiddle from Cervenka, thanks homie. My parents were blessed by us coming up, and welcomed us back. My dad even said that he would play his guitar with us next time we come up. This is major in the land of my dad. Praise God that he feels comfortable around my homegroup!!!
As far as the job hunt goes, I have to admit to being a little lazy. I have been given some fairly solid leads into Starbucks corporate, but nothing is for sure until I actually get to speak with someone about it. Some exciting opportunities await their, should I be able to be in a place to take them. I am praying pretty hard about it.
I was reading in 1 Peter 2 about how we are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, and holy nation for God's own possession to proclaim the excellencies of Him who has brought us out of darkness into His marvelous light, for we are were not a people, but now we are the people of God, for we had not received mercy, but now have received mercy.

This was pretty convicting and encouraging in relation to my current job. I am set apart for His glory and wonder if he is really glorified by my actions and choice of words at work. If people would see my actions and declare praise and glory to God. I'm not sure. It is so hard, but I am working on making every morning, every shift, every hour intentionally glorifying to the Lord, and it is quite different from my previous actions. I praise God because he is gracious and merciful to me. His grace is enough for me and I am covered in His blood. He forgives me and continues to love me. It's so humbling to know that.
I was watching a little bit of the Chronicles of Narnia recently, and the picture of Aslon being summoned to the stone alter to be sacrificed flooded my mind. How the people all around were so hateful to a righteous and innocent creature being lead to the slaughter. How they cheered at his fate and insulted his perfection. What kind of humility it must have been for Christ to take the same kind of ridicule and insults on the way and on the cross, knowing that even if it was just me who had been a 'traitor' he would have still endured it. I feel so a ashamed for being so prideful and guarded in my love for others. He loved with an everlasting and unfailing love, knowing that those very people would betray Him, and hurl insults at him. How horrible that must have felt, but that didn't keep him from loving as He did. It makes me feel silly for picking who I will love because of the risk of being hurt. Silly for not wanting to endanger myself by being vulnerable for the sake of the Gospel. Conviction hit pretty hard this morning.

His love endures forever. He's my strength and He's my song. His love endures forever.

So... this one might be a little long,,,, longer anyway.

God has been working on some things in my life that I have not been quite sure what to do with until now. God has been using my job with the home group and the Great Commission to take me to a different place with Him. He has been chipping away at this mold that I have made for our relationship, and humbling me to enter into the Holy of Holies - the very presence of God. With that said, here goes what He has shown me thus far. (Micah 6:8)

I am so lacking in myself as a person. Praise God that He isn't finished with me yet! God has been challenging me repeatedly in areas that are just plain weaknesses, and I am failing over and over and over again. I think to myself and cry out to God... " what am I doing wrong?" His answer to me has always been,,, 'you forgot to trust me for these things'.God spoke to me through Janet Rogers last when saying that God will put us in situations where the only way we are going to make it through is by letting Him bring us. We can't rely on our own strength, because no matter how many times we work out a week, we are never going to be able to move a mountain. Essentially, I have been asking God to move mountains in my life, to set me apart, to give me joy unspeakable, and then depend on my own method of obtain what has already been promised if I only obey God, and not re-invent the wheel.

So, last night at women's equipping, we were learning more about making disciples, and God related my situation to the Christian life in a way that I had never thought about it before. Making disciples is a lot like training new employees at work, only we need to add to our number constantly.(God isn't worried about labor. ;D) There are training tools, but really, when it comes down to it, it's just spending time with one another, learning about and with eachother and growing together in a relationship with God. Even when personalities don't quite line up, you excellerate the learning curve just working through them. It may take more time, but what we are saying with our time is that the other person is worth the investment. That we believe in their success in there witness to others as they grow in Christ, and that we care about their growth into the Head.. Jesus. I have to be patient when things don't work out the way that is ideal, when mistakes are made; exersize the grace that has been given to me. Eventually, the goal of equipping saints is that they can do the same things that I am doing, which means, I need to get out of the way, and let them step into something they have a passion for. That may mean doing things a little bit different from what I am used to, but maybe it is a better way. I am all about learning better, more effective ways of doing things.

All of these things are really exciting to me, but take a tremendous amount of energy and effort. We are weak, and have our breaking points when we act in the flesh. God doesn't have a breaking point, and when I abide in Him, He is my strength. My computer I am typing on is not plugged into an outlet, an energy source that is much more abundant than my battery. Eventually the battery will deplete if I keep using it and don't plug it in. If I keep it plugged in, then it will always be charging, and never deplete at all. An interesting thing about computers though. If I leave it plugged in all the time, even when I am not using it, when I unplug it, it will not last as long by itself than if I recharge it, and unplug it once it is charged. I shouldn't 'unplug' to last longer without God, just to depend on our own, weaker strength longer.
I was talking with a close friend of mine last weekend, and she expressed to me her frustration in people not listening to hear. I listened, and smiled on the inside knowing very well the personality of this friend. I shared with her that I have a similar struggle, but not with other people, but with keeping my own mouth shut. Something that God has taught me through His Word and friends is that I should listen at least 5 times as much as I speak. How will I know if and what to say if I am not listening to this situation, and placing myself in that situation. When people are hurting, they just want someone to listen to them. My experiences are irrelevent, because the same situation is expressed differently in different people, and I am not them. This is their experience, their emotions, not mine. If I am distracted by my own thoughts, I am insulting the speaker, and don't value what they have to say. I have found that when we speak less often, others are more likely to listen.
It's kind of like a close friend you re-connect with. At first, it is fun and exciting, you can't wait to hear from them again. Then you start to e-mail personal e-mails. Then, they get shorter and shorter, or saying the same thing over and over again. Then, all you get are forwards of the latest quizes or emotional statements, or cliche poetry. Are you going do be excited when you see e-mails from that person in you inbox anymore? For me, no way. I probably won't read it. And what if, one day, it is this incredible e-mail, I have deleted it, because I no longer have value to what this person has to say. Silence is not a bad thing! Especially when there isn't much to say.

So these things have been on my heart. I pray that it isn't discouraging.

One question though. Does anyone ever get nauseus when they fast? Why is that? It happened to me for the first time, and I'm super curious.

It's been a while, I know. It has been difficult to know what to write these days.

I have been wanting to support my friends who are going to Japan on a mission trip at the end of May, but seeing as how I don't have so much money coming in, I can't just write a check. God gave me the idea to have a garage sale. For a garage sale, you need stuff to sell, right. This saturday, Debi and I handed out flyers in a neiborhood that was having a 300 family garage sale asking for the stuff they couldn't sell. I was so encouraged by the way she responded when I asked her for her help. She said, "Whatever you need help with, I will help you." I was so encouraged to be receiving that response. That felt so good to know, whatever I needed, she would be there for me. I have been blessed tremendously by Debi's loyalty. We ended up having exactly the amount of cars that we needed, thanks to Debi, Rael, Rebecca, Hollie, and Manuel to pick up the stuff left. Our front living room is half stuffed with stuff from picking it all up. It was amazing. Several people at the church have said that they have things to donate, as well. This experience has been really encouraging to me so far.

When I was dropping of some of the stuff that was in my car from picking up things, and got the opportunity to talk to Melissa, my sister. She was at my parent's house this weekend taking care of my grandma this weekend while Luke was at drill. It just made me smile to see her heart. She is such a passionate woman for the Lord. She doesn't do anything half way. When she steps, she jumps. I don't have quite that zeel for everything in my life, but it was refreshing to see how passionately she cares for other people and desires change to bring people to Christ. I had to stop and think to myself if I should be more like that, but realized that I play a different part. She is a visionary, and i am a problem solver. She comes up with these gigantic ideas, and i realize them through working out the details. It is how our personalities have always worked together.
God has been showing me a lot about who he is and how he works in the body through her and my homegroup. I am constantly amazed at how many paralles or examples if his living Word he gives us in our daily interactions with others and situations. He really wants us to relate and know Him through His people. He is in everyone, and he is so great, that he can be all parts that are in the body, but because we are human, and have a flesh, the body on earth is made of parts to function in the whole of God, where Christ is the head.
By the way, praise God for the spine and bones that support and give form to the structure. They may not always be on the outside, to be seen, but they are in the hand as it extends. Without support, the body collapses. Praise God that he is our strength and support in every part of the body.

Please pray that I get a new job soon. I feel that this job is really not where I need to be. It is causing me to stumble in my walk with God. Just thinking about it, I am discouraged. I think I am looking for something in HR, with big kids. Only the living God knows what he has in store for me though. Thank you!